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About Brackens Daily
Our Vision
Brackens Daily is a satirical publication. The stories, characters, quotes, officials, committees, violations, and incidents contained herein are fictional. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is either coincidental or extremely funny depending on where you live.
We launched because someone had to. No one had to.
Our staff is locally inspired and has not been involved in any major incidents this calendar year that we are aware of.
We observe the traditions of responsible journalism the way most people observe speed limits. With intention. Situationally.
Brackens Daily has no political agenda. We have opinions, but they are in a separate document. That document does not exist.
If you have a tip (We accept cash and Venmo), a complaint, or a correction — we genuinely cannot help you. This is satire. Please consult your HOA.
Local. Independent. Partially Accurate. Rarely Sorry.
Site Content
Inside the Mind of Brackens Daily: A Conversation With the Only Person Who Would Talk to Us
The following is an edited transcript of an exclusive interview with the Editor in Chief of Brackens Daily. The interview was conducted in the Eastern Panhandle. The Editor agreed to participate on the condition that the questions be reasonable. We failed that condition immediately. Some answers have been edited for length. None have been edited for accuracy because that is not something we do here.
Brackens Daily: Thank you for sitting down with us.
I did not have a choice. You scheduled this during my lunch and then sent a reminder. Two reminders actually. The second one had an exclamation point in it which I found aggressive given that we are the same publication. I want that noted. I had a sandwich planned and now I have this. The sandwich was not rescheduled. It is still out there somewhere. This interview needs to be worth it.
You founded Brackens Daily. What was the vision?
The vision was to create a news outlet that covered the Panhandle with the seriousness it deserved and the accuracy we could reasonably manage given our resources, our timeline, and the fact that some of these stories are entirely made up. We knew going in that we were not going to get everything right. We made peace with that early. It has been very freeing honestly. I recommend it. More publications should try it.
Can you elaborate on the made up part?
No.
There are those who have questioned the accuracy of your reporting.
There are those who question a lot of things. What I find interesting is that people will read something in Brackens Daily and say — I do not think that actually happened — but they will also forward it to four people before they finish that sentence. So the question I would ask those critics is — if it is not accurate, why did you send it to your entire neighborhood group chat at seven in the morning. I will wait.
How do you respond to critics who say Brackens Daily is not a real news outlet?
I point them to the masthead. We have a masthead. It is very convincing. We spent real time on the font. Georgia serif, which is historically associated with credibility and institutions that have been around long enough that nobody questions them anymore. We are trying to get into that category. We are early in the process.
Your publication openly admits it is satirical. Doesn't that undermine your credibility?
It protects our credibility. Everything we publish is presented exactly as what it is — a satirical interpretation of events that may or may not have occurred in a manner loosely resembling the way we described them. That is more transparent than most cable news networks and we are doing it from the Panhandle with considerably less funding and no green screen. We think that counts for something.
Some readers have accused you of making things up entirely.
Some readers are very perceptive. We appreciate that about them.
Your tagline says you are only partially accurate. What percentage are we talking about?
That is proprietary information. What I will say is that we are closer to fifty than we are to zero and we consider that a strong foundation. We are also trending upward. Last quarter was a good quarter for accuracy. One of our better ones. I do not want to overstate it but I also do not want to undersell the progress we are making in that area.
Do you have any journalistic training?
I have strong opinions and a laptop. In this industry that is more than enough to get started. The training is ongoing. We consider every issue a learning experience. Some issues have been more educational than others. The legal ones especially.
There have been legal ones?
We are not discussing that.
What sets Brackens Daily apart from other local publications?
Courage. Vision. A complete willingness to publish something that a reasonable person might look at and say — I am not sure this is a good idea — and publish it anyway. Most outlets have layers of editorial review designed to prevent exactly what we do. We removed those layers on day one. We found they were slowing us down. The content has been much faster since then and only slightly more problematic.
Is there anything you would like to say directly to your readers?
Yes. Thank you for reading. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for not consulting an attorney before forwarding our content to your neighbors because we genuinely appreciate the distribution. If you have ever read one of our articles and thought — I cannot tell if this is real or not — that means we did our job correctly. That is the sweet spot. We live in that sweet spot. We have decorated it. We are very comfortable there and we have no plans to leave.
Thank you for your time.
Send me the transcript before you publish it.
We cannot do that.
I own the publication.
We are aware.
Then why —
Interview concluded.
Behind the scenes at Brackens Daily
A Day in the Life of the Newsroom
6:45am — Someone arrives. It is unclear who. The lights are on when everyone else gets there so we have chosen to be grateful rather than ask questions.
8:00am — Editorial meeting. This is where the day's priorities are established, debated, and then largely ignored in favor of whatever someone overheard at the gas station on the way in.
9:30am — Writing begins. The newsroom enters what we call the creative phase. Outsiders have described it as "a lot of people staring at their phones." Those outsiders do not understand the research process.
11:15am — First draft of something is completed. It is reviewed by the person sitting closest to the writer. That person says it is fine. It is published.
12:00pm — Lunch. This is the most productive hour of the day. Several of our best story ideas have come from this hour. We do not fully understand why and we are not going to examine it too closely.
2:00pm — Someone receives a complaint about something we published. The complaint is discussed briefly and then placed in the feedback folder. The feedback folder is a drawer. The drawer has not been opened since the second week of operation.
4:30pm — End of day recap. The team reviews what was accomplished. Someone mentions something that probably should have been fact checked. Everyone agrees. Nobody goes back to fix it. Tomorrow is a new day.
5:00pm — The lights go off. Whether anyone turned them off or they are on a timer remains an open question. We have not looked into it. It feels like a metaphor and we prefer not to know.
10 tips for aspiring journalists
From the editors of Brackens Daily. We have been doing this for a while now. Some of it on purpose.
1. Always verify your sources. Then ignore them.
Sources are a starting point. They tell you what they know, which is rarely the whole story, and what they think, which is usually wrong in an interesting way. Gather the information, thank them sincerely, and then write what makes the most sense narratively. The truth is a direction, not a destination.
2. Take notes. Lose the notes. Trust yourself.
Notes create a false sense of security. The really important details will stay with you naturally. If you forgot it, it probably was not that important. If it was important and you forgot it, that is what the comments section is for. Let the readers fill in the gaps. They love that.
3. Arrive early. Leave before anyone notices.
Presence is everything in journalism. Show up, establish that you were there, make eye contact with two or three people of apparent significance, and then exit quietly before anyone asks for your credentials. You do not want to be around when the questions start. That is not where stories happen. Stories happen in the parking lot afterward.
4. Never reveal your sources. Especially if you do not have any.
Protecting sources is a cornerstone of journalistic integrity. It is also extremely useful when the source is a feeling you had on a Tuesday or something you read in a different article that you have since been unable to relocate. Confidential means confidential. Nobody can argue with that.
5. Dress like you belong in every room.Journalists go everywhere. City council meetings. HOA hearings. Grand openings of things that did not need to be opened. You will be taken more seriously if you look like you were invited. A lanyard helps. Any lanyard. It does not need to say anything. People see a lanyard and they assume you have clearance. This has been tested extensively.
6. Deadlines are suggestions backed by mild consequences.
The news cycle is relentless and unforgiving and nobody actually checks what time you filed. Publish when the story is ready. If the story is never fully ready, publish anyway and update it later. The update does not have to be substantial. Changing a comma counts. Log it as a revision and move on with your life.
7. If you cannot find the story, become the story.
Sometimes a community has nothing going on. Nothing controversial, nothing unresolved, nothing worth reporting. This is not a dead end. This is an opportunity. Write about the fact that nothing is happening. Imply that the nothing is suspicious. Ask why everything is so quiet. People will start talking. People cannot handle being told everything is fine. Use that.
8. Objectivity is a myth. Lean into your biases but give them a professional font.
Every journalist has a perspective. The difference between opinion and reporting is largely formatting. If it is in italics it is a comment. If it is in Georgia serif with a dateline it is news. Adjust your fonts accordingly and let the readers decide what they are reading. Most of them will not notice either way.
9. When in doubt, add a disclaimer and publish immediately.
A disclaimer covers everything. It is the journalistic equivalent of a helmet — it does not prevent the situation but it demonstrates that you were aware something could go wrong. Slap it at the bottom in a slightly smaller font, use the word satirical at least once, and proceed with confidence. Courts respect confidence almost as much as they respect evidence.
10. Never apologize. Issue a statement instead.
Apologies imply fault. Statements imply process. There is a significant legal and emotional difference between "we were wrong" and "we are reviewing the matter in the context of our editorial standards and remain committed to the communities we serve." One of those sentences ends conversations. The other one starts new ones that are somehow worse. Learn the statement. Practice it. Keep it somewhere accessible. You will need it sooner than you think.
Brackens Daily assumes no responsibility for any journalism career launched using this advice. We also assume no responsibility for any journalism career not launched using this advice. We are a publication, not a guidance counselor.
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